Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...