he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.