I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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