I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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