a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
