She's JV to your varsity
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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