i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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