pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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