Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
