I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
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The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house