No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
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I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed