It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.