I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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