Your face is a jimmy john
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize