Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize