Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
