So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize