i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize