did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
