He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
