The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
