At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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