You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize