my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize