Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
