i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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