if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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