just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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