i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it's like iHOP with fire
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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