Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
