Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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