giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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