I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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