guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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