I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
