Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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