you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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