Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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