Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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