oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
They are going to name an STD after you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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