Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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