There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
