Small penises have feelings too.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
