i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
