Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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