sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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