i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize