What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there's paper in my vomit.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
