none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
