Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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