I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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