sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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