____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
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Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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